Courageous Communication Pt.1

joe Communications, Leadership

Courageous Communication

One trick to having an effective conversation, regardless of the audience is to use Courageous Communication.  There are countless books and websites devoted to helping us have better, more effective conversations – in fact, one such book is aptly name, “courageous conversations.”  Our use of the phrase should not be confused with any specific publication, rather in general terms to lean into discomfort and face fears and adversity in conversations in order to grow.  We have added a few of the books to our recommended reading list.  Here are the seven key elements we believe span the lot of them:

  • Notice what you notice:  Notice what attracts your attention by interrogating your own reality[1].  Exploring our perspectives is a continuous loop, so pay attention to what triggers you.  We discuss this in much more detail in the chapter on facilitative transformative intervention.
  • ‘Listen’ with every sense[2]: ‘listening’ is often considered as only what we can see or hear.  Think of all the ways we can listen with every sense.  Consider the ‘touch’ communication that takes place during a silent hug or a handshake.  Notice what you ‘smell’ next time you talk to an acquaintance – the odor of alcohol emanating from a co-worker in the middle of the day probably says a lot.  Of course, most people are familiar with using ‘sight’ when communicating through gestures and other body language – but consider what a person’s environment says to you about them.
  • Be courageous: find the edges of comfort zones – then cross them.
  • Be authentic: come out from behind the curtain and let people see the real you.
  • Be there and be prepared: conversations rely heavily upon connecting.  In order to connect; unplug from other distractions, turn towards the other party, make occasional eye contact, and apply active listening skills.  Time is a precious commodity and when someone gives theirs to us – it is a gift.  Receive it like you would any other.
  • Be professional: conversations work best when we are most professional selves – no matter how we define professional.
  • Be patient: let silence do the talking.  Remember the reflective value of meta-cognition.  It’s ok to let people think.  When we allow other people space and time to think after giving them something to think about (planting a seed) we extend the learning environment far beyond the conversation.  People who have experienced being led by example can attest to the effectiveness of this teaching style (intentional or not).

[1] “Fierce Conversations,” Susan Scott

[2] Inspired by a conversation with Gary Klugiewicz, policeone.com/columnists/gary-klugiewicz/